Jist Vistin'

I've h'yeard of a place down Red River where they keep them deer feeders full th' year round. But that's Boss Hog's stompin' ground. He's one mean spotted boar, and half ag'in as big as me.

I was down in that neck 'a th' woods last spring makin' rounds. My wife Rhoda was off with our kids visitin' her Momma, and I was kinda' prancin' on down th' trail by m'self, when I run into a real purty li'l ol' listed shoat. I was jist gettin' acquainted with 'er, when ol' Boss Hog showed up. You guessed it - he's a real jealous hawg, an' me 'n him tied up. I have whipped boars as big as Boss before, but he's in better shape than me, with all th' deer corn he wants.

He cut me four times quicker'n it takes t' tell about it. I cut him in one li'l ol' place on th' flanks. My Momma didn' raise no fool. I left there in a hurry. It still galls me t' think about it. that li'l ol' shoat told me her name is Little Sue, and she had jist turned a year old that spring. She sure is purty.

I reck'n ol' Boss thought he was doin' th' Lord's work, keepin' me in th' straight an' narrow, bein' a plum' married ol' rooter visitin' away from home. And if you see my wife Rhoda, you c'n tell 'er fer me, I was jist visitin', and hadn't no thought a'tall a' goin' off down a back trail. She'll believe it if you tell 'er I said it.