Agreeable cat conflicts with Old Woman, just moves on outside

By Mary K. Hamner
Journal Correspondent

Rat Killer, aka RK in home surroundings
Mainly I am a fairly agreeable cat and the old woman and I get along rees'nbly well. It's been a learnin process for both of us, but she's learned when to let me inside the house and when to let me outside to dig around and fertilize the dirt. I learned to let her know when I was hungry and stuff like that and I thought I had her trained fairly well.

Maybe it has sumpin to do with the January weather. When it's cold and rainin outside, all I want to do is lay up in the house and sleep. Works fairly well-the old woman comes by now and then and rubs me on the head with her foot. She tells me "You're a good cat!". When she's really bored with stayin inside with nothin to do, she turns the television on.

Now I'm OK with John Wayne movies, no tellin how many times I've watched him shoot whoever he thinks he needs to and then never even gets hurt or put in jail or nothin. Columbo can be sort of interestin but I hate the way he leaves his dog in the car all the time. Wheel of Fortune is the same old same old all the time; most times I just sleep through it.

The reason me and the old woman conflicts over watchin TV is that she mutes the good stuff, you know, like the ads for more nutritious cat food and stuff like that. Meow Mix is good and all that as long as I get some rat meat mixed in now and then but that stuff with fruit and stuff in it might be worth a try. And them ads for funerals and puttin old folks in nursin homes! Why even pets need to know where they're going to go when the inevitable happens to the old folks! She mutes them ads before I have can learn nothin.

Course the old woman is always exercisin and doin stuff to help her stay around so that she can tend to her flowers and stuff comes spring. Mostly she drives her car around and goes places. Says that helps her arm muscles and map readin skills. But, jus between you and me, I know what worries her the most. She's always a talkin about how embarassin it is when she can't remember peoples' names.

Just yesterday, she drug out this thing she plugged in the TV thing and started listenin to some man talkin about Optimizing Brain Fitness. I went off to sleep while she was a settin there- but all at once I was wide-awake! That man on the TV thing was sayin something about rats and how rats got smarter when they lived in enriched environments.

Hope she didn't take that seriously. Makes me know that its time for us to get outside and clean up the leaves them rats have been a hid'n in.