RK considers trimming waistline for new year

By Mary K. Hamner
Journal Correspondent

Taking it easy during the winter holiday season, RK
ponders why birds fly, & which is the better game
rats or rabbits.
It was a cold winter day and I was a doin what I do most cold winter days, snoring away inside where I could stay warm. In fact, I was a dreamin about the times when I usta catch them big ole rats and how much fun that was for me, but not for the rats a course. Them rats weren't used to bein stalked when I furst come to live with the old woman and you shoulda seen how surprised they was when I pounced up and ended their glory days of livin in the walls of the ole woman's house.

All of a sudden in th middle of my dream there was this big BANG! The old woman jumped up outen her chair a lookin around and mutterin sumpin about if'n that wuz a gunshot. Course I knowed what had made that noise. I knowed them deer hunters knowed better than to be a shootin up close to houses, so I just turnt over and went back to sleep a thinkin that after it warmed up a bit outside I'd look around, under the winders. Them durn robins do it all the time. Guess they think them glass holes will open up into a warm place for them too, but it never turns out that a way.

I couldn't go back to sleep, so finally, after eatin another bait of Meow Mix, I tole th ole woman I needed to go outside. After all these years of livin with her, I got her trained purty good. I went around and looked under the winders and there weren't no robin out there. Sumtimes they hit th glass so hard that they don't live to talk about it. I was glad cause I like them robins and other birds a peckin around amongst the leaves. There's a crab apple tree out front just covered over with fruit and them birds don't have to worry none about findin something to eat these days.

Since I am only allowed to catch and eat rats and maybe a rabbit, I ain't no threat to them birds. They cume thru this time a year in flocks. They's crows and little bitty birds I don't know the name of. They's a hawk nest in a tall tree out in th wood lot and squirrels play chase and eat acerns an hicker nuts and none uv them are a lackin for food aroun this place. Purty soon now another noisy drove will swing through here and clean up all the red berries on the trees and bushes and then before long it will be Spring again.

Wilst I was a walkin round outside I started a thinkin what kind of New Year's Resolutions I needed to make. I'm a getting where my fat is a getting hard to tote aroun an need to find a way to get that off without cuttin down on Meow Mix. I need to figger out how to ride down th road without meowin so I'll git to go a ridin in the car sumtimes. An I really need to figger out how to get them young'uns tuh come home more ofter so that I can get more of them foor rubs.