RK Worries about 'Old Woman,' but relaxes

By Mary K. Hamner
Journal Correspondent

Over-all, I live a purty relaxed sort of life. The day I showed up on the ole woman's door step and she adopted me, was the day I retired. I guess you might say that I went on welfare that very day. No more was I forced to drift around in the wild country a huntin stuff to eat and, to tell the truth, my days are a spent mostly just layin up in the house a sleepin. But lately, sumpin is a goin on that has got me a wonderin just what is a goin on with the old woman!

It all started a couple months back with that ole twelve year ole car she was a keepin in the road all the time. Course I never did ride in it except when I had to go down to Hall Summit to see that Dr. Bethea feller so that ole car was the least uv my worries. Acordin to what I heard her and them boys a talkin bout, thet car was a usin oil. Thet did'nt seem unrees-no-able to me since thet ole car was a comin up on 300 thousand miles.

One day I knowed something was a goin on when I got throwed outen the house early one morning. When the ole woman come back late in the day a drivin a silver lookin car, well--I didn't know what to think. I overheered her a talkin to sumbody and, seems as if this is whut happened. She drove all the way to Shrevesport to have that ole car worked on. It wuz sposed to be a simple engine job, she thought, but when all them technicians got through with diag-nosein thu problem, it ud a cost mor'n a new one.

Seemed like she settled down a little when she learned how to drive thet new vehicle with all uv them new bells an whistles. I think it wuz actually me thet helped her. I just went on a putting my tracks on thet new car and a goin to sleep on it when I got throwed outside. Couldn't tell no diff-rence myself.

THEN, thet box she kept a pointin here and there- sumtimes at me, just went phissttt and wudnn't take no more of them pictures. She went several days after thet without a combin her hair or a paintin up her face.

How some ever, I thought she was completely a gonna lose when it thet thing she plays a game on bit the dust. Never could unnerstand it myself, how she could set at that desk fer hours just a lookin at thet thing. It musta felt something like thet first time I went down to see thet vet. I still don't like to think about that. All I can say is that I lost all my manhood AND my dignity in one swoop uv the knife. Shore did take a lot of drivin here and there to get thet 'puter thang a going agin.

I heared her a talkin to herself this morning. She said sumpin like she was a wonderin where she could buy her a new brain so's she could learn to operate all that new stuff. Think she might be a comin around a little tho. Guess it's cause all the young'uns is a comin in fer Me-mor-al Day. Maybe then she'll comb her hair and paint up her face. Sure hope so!