Thinkin 'bout retirein

I been at this here job a' Pork Commissioner fer fifteen years now, since I first met up with ol' Curtis Hembree over at Monroe back there in '97, an' learnt it was him that Granpaw told us li'l shoats about ketchin' in a bind in th' woods way back there, when they near 'bout caught 'em a salesman fer supper.

I have run fer reelection without no opposition several times, an' ain't but one more year left on this term. I been studyin' 'bout maybe tryin' t' retire after this term and sort 'a live off th' fat a' th' land, seein' as how pork is gittin' so hard to come by ever'where. All I c'n h'year folks talkin' about is Taxes, and Cuttin' and argyin' 'bout who's gon' git a Tax Cut and who's gon have t' pay more.

I'm gon' give 'er a lot more thinkin' b'fore I sign up t' run ag'in, 'cause bein' Pork Commissioner ain't a lot a' fun when all you c'n git out'a th' Smoke House is a li'l ol' string 'a chitlins, or a mess a' souse once in awhile. I'm lis'nin' fer somebody that's willin' t' say they're gon' start layin' in some real bacon purty quick, an' git done with all this po'mouth talk ever'body's lettin' on. Y'all lemme know if you got a' id'y 'bout how t' git 'er done.