Too dern hot

I was runnin' th' trails at night here a'while back, cause it's been too dern hot t' git out from under a good shade in th' daytime. I hear lots 'a talk up an' down th' road about somethin' called "global warmin'" an' I reck'n it's so, at least right here in th' Piney Woods. A' course, I ain't traveled what you might call "global," so all I got t' go by is what's right around where I'm at.

Some folks sez it's got so hot th' North Pole is melted, and folks might be catchin' catfish an' brim up th' other end a' Canada, an' th' Polar Bears be travelin' in Skeeter boats.

Another feller I know sez it's all on account a' burnin' too much gas an' coal, and they orter start makin' gas out a' pine knots an' bermudy grass. I don' know about that myself, unless they was t' start feedin' bermudy grass t' mules, and travelin' in waggins ag'in. I think th' heat must be gittin' to me. Y'all stay cool when y' can.