By JAMES RONALD SKAINS
Journal Correspondent

A just-released poll provided exclusively to The Piney Woods Journal by P.W. Rooter & Associates of Dodson, located on Dugdemona Lane, has Earl K. Long leading the 13 candidates for Governor of Louisiana in the fall 2003 election.

"If the election was today and Earl K. Long was on the ballot, he would most likely claim a first primary victory," P.W. Rooter told the Journal. "Earl Long has by far the best name recognition of any candidate in the field. "Earl Long is getting free publicity nearly every day all over the state, that none of the other candidates can buy with love or money."

"Take for instance what was going on in New Orleans the Sunday night of March 16 at the Mrs. Louisiana pageant," P.W. Rooter pointed out. "There was all those lovelies of the Mrs. Louisiana pageant, all lined up on stage dancing to The Ballad of Earl K. Long. And that wasn't all."

"Right in the middle of the pageant, they called ole Jay Chevalier up on stage to not only sing The Ballad of Earl K. Long, but also to do a stirring rendition about Blaze," Rooter stated. "And that wasn't all about Earl, either. The whole Mrs. Louisiana pageant was dedicated to Earl K. Long. The official program dedication page said, 'In Memory of Earl K. Long. This program is dedicated to the memory of former Louisiana Governor Earl K. Long and the Long family for their contributions in building state roads and highways."

The Journal has learned that a special plaque was presented to the Long family during the event. Mary Long Rambo, widow of State Senator Willard Rambo, a former Long floor leader in the Legislature during the 1950's and 60's, accepted the plaque on behalf of the entire Long family.

"It is a pleasure to accept this award on behalf of the Long family and Earl Long in particular," Mrs. Rambo told those attending the event. "The recognition of Earl Long and his brothers for their political contributions to Louisiana is richly deserved. The record of Earl Long as Governor of Louisiana is unsurpassed by anyone in providing good and beneficial things to the common people of Louisiana."

"And that isn't all," P.W. Rooter said in explaining the resurgence in popularity of Earl K. Long. "In Baton Rouge and New Orleans, which accounts for nearly forty percent of the total votes in Louisiana, Earl `John McConnell' Long is getting rave reviews for his portrayal of the former Governor in the Jason Berry stage play Earl Long in Purgatory. There is also another stage play about Earl Long by George Sanchez in Slidell."

"Earl Long never had it so good," P.W. Rooter pointed out. "People are paying good money to see him, so he doesn't have to worry about fund raising."

Mark Harris, a trucking company executive and a distant cousin of Earl K. Long, put the results of P.W. Rooter's poll into proper perspective. "If Earl Long were able to qualify for the 2003 race, he would be unbeatable in my opinion. I think Rooter's poll is in line with what I'm hearing out there. If Uncle Earl can qualify, we're ready to plaster several hundred log trucks, chip trucks, and trucks of all descriptions with Earl Long for Governor signs."

"Uncle Earl would have more fun in this campaign with this crop of opponents than in any other race in his career," Harris, who in Louisiana and Mississippi trucking circles is known as `The Big Kahuna', elaborated. "Can't you just imagine what Uncle Early would have to say about the 2003 opponents, such as "Hanky Panky Hainkel," "Catfish Buddy," "Hollering Hollis," "Mr. Hunt Down," "Richie Ooob," "Lady Blank-O," "Handy Randy Elite," and "Mr. Treed."

"Uncle Earl would have a devil of a time with that whiz kid's name," Harris, who grew up in Georgetown, pointed out. "It would be a coin toss in my opinion as to whether Uncle Earl would call him `Wizard,' `Bobbin J,' or just `Sonny Boy.' And we can't forget that guy from the North Shore, `J. Blooming,' or `Blooming J,' or whatever his name is. And they there is also `Kuttin' Kyle,' who has the big eyes for the Governor's mansion."

But back to the Rooter Report, which emphasized other cold hard facts of why Earl K. Long is running so far ahead of the field of 2003.

"And that's not all. Not one of the other candidates in the race has so much as a bridge or even a pothole named after him. But look at Earl. There are bridges, hospitals, and state buildings named after Earl and his brother Huey. Plus, no other candidate has either introduced or signed into law a bill to give free school lunches, free schoolbooks, an old age pension, or a homestead exemption."

To validate this information, The Journal took a quick tour around the state. It was determined that there was and is an Earl Long combination bridge (vehicle and train traffic) over the Mississippi River in Baton Rouge. Another combo bridge in New Orleans is named after Earl's brother (The Huey P. Long bridge), and there is an Earl K. Long hospital in Baton Rouge, and a Huey P. Long hospital in Alexandria.

The Journal got an unexpected opportunity to verify the state office building angle at a Louisiana Library Association meeting at the Lamar-Dixon arena in Gonzales, when the question was asked of a librarian, "Which library are you with?"

"I'm with the Earl Long Library at the University of New Orleans," the pretty young librarian replied with enthusiasm. "You're probably aware that Governor Long was responsible for the creation of the University of New Orleans. All the bigwigs wanted to name it the University of LSU at New Orleans."

"But Governor Long said that the good people of New Orleans deserved to have a university of their own," the young librarian added. "And the people of New Orleans to this day haven't forgotten what Governor Earl K. Long did for them."

"And that is not all," P.W. Rooter said in explaining the margin of error in his poll. "There is all that stuff they do in Winnfield with that Political Hall of Fame. It seems to be all about Earl because each time they induct new members, in their acceptance speech all they talk about is themselves and Earl K. Long. And then there is Uncle Earl's Hog Dog Trials, which has turned out to be the Super Bowl of Hog Dog fracases nationwide," P.W. Rooter added. "Earl's name is mentioned innumerable times in all that to-do. Earl Long is the only politician nationwide to have a Hog Dog Baying named for him. But like Earl always said, so long as they are talking about me, it don't matter what they are saying."

And to top it all off," P.W. Rooter pointed out, "Jay Chevalier, Earl's old guitar picker, has written this book about himself and Uncle Earl titled, When the Music Stopped. I heard Jay say that you could turn to page 48 and find out why Governor Long had a heart attack."

"I took exception to that statement even after I turned to page 48," P.W. Rooter acknowledged. "I thought Jay was stretching the truth by about a mile, so I commenced to do an outside poll on the matter. I polled a hundred medical doctors from all over the United States."

"After looking at page 48 inWhen the Music Stopped, and taking the matter under advisement, they responded rather quickly," P.W. Rooter explained. "Ninety-eight out of the one hundred polled stated emphatically that they believed that three or more doses of what was on page 48 would send any man over the age of 55 into permanent cardiac arrest."

"One of the two dissenters, a doctor from New York, said that in his opinion, two doses would probably be lethal for any man over sixty," P.W. Rooter elaborated. "The other dissenter, a doctor from San Francisco, allowed that in his opinion, if a man has been running five miles a day faithfully for the last five years, that up to three doses of what is on page 48 should not have any effect on his cardiovascular system."

"And we can't overlook what history has recorded, about Earl being a problem solver," P.W. Rooter explained. "As some of us know, right after Huey started building roads in South Louisiana in 1929 with gravel hauled from North Louisiana, Huey had a visit from a group of farmers from St. Landry Parish who told him they couldn't find any buyers for their corn crop."

"Huey called Earl and told him to solve the problem," P.W. Rooter recalled. "Well, the solution for Earl was simple. He just had the gravel trucks to back haul the corn from St. Landry Parish to Dugdemona swamp where they dumped the corn in mounds to feed hogs and cows. Every few weeks, Earl would arrange a butchering and then send the beef and pork to state institutions."

"In his heyday, Earl could solve three or more problems better with one stone than any other man who ever occupied the Governor's chair," P.W. Rooter noted. "Earl got real high marks in my poll for problem solving."

However, a distant cousin of Earl K. Long, Mark (The Big Kahuna) Harris, put the whole scenario into perspective. "I believe that the younger generation would love to have the chance to vote just once for Earl K. Long. They would probably vote the straight Long ticket all the way down to Justice of the Peace."

"If Uncle Earl qualifies for the October 2003 Louisiana Governor's race, he will win hands down in the first go-round. However, if Uncle Earl doesn't qualify, we can do one of two things. We can either write in Uncle Earl, or we can get an Uncle Earl stand-in!"

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