Valintine Blus

It's been buseyer around here than a two tailed tom cat in a room full of rocking chairs this month. They shore have made a mess of our training ground far them hog dog trials. Ever year for the past several years we hogs train real hard so we can make them hog dogs look real good far the judges. Can't say anything more about that cause it is Classified Top Secret. With all the war talk and folks gittin' called up to go off to Eye-Rack, I hope there's enough folks left to come see me an' my kinfolks rowdy them ol' hog dogs up down at the Uncle Earl's Trials. So far none 'a us hogs has been called up to go as dinner on somebody's plate, but I been keepin' a keen eye out lookin' over my shoulder just in case.

I thought I'd get a rest about the middle of the month. I was out rootin' around fer my breakfas'when my wife, Rotah came up all sassey like, (that was the first sign I was in trouble).

"Pineas" she said in a honey-eyed, butter wouldn' melt in your mouth tone of voice. If there were any flies around they would have had a lip-smacking good time. "Pineas do you know what day this is?"

"Yep, it's Friday. Why?" I sez. That was a big mistake. "Well, Pineas, if you don't know I won;t tell you", she snorted, with vinigar in 'er voice as she huffed on down th' trail. I just shakened my head and went on 'a rootin'.

Un in th' day I nearly got run over by a plum' swarm 'a cars and trucks delivering flowers and ballons to everybody all over the place. I ain't never seen so many sick people in all my life. Least, they must 'a been sick cause none 'a th' trucks or cars wase stoppin' at funeral homes. Well, I stumbled up on a bunch 'a of fellers talkin' amongst theirselves 'bout what they was givin' their wives and sweethearts for valintines day. After standing there for a while a big old light bulb went off in my head. That was what Rotah was hintin' at this mornin'. I run back t' my ol' stump, made up a poem and printed it out, run by my secret hidin' place and got a bucket of deer corn, picked a big bunch of musterd greens and turnip greens with them plumb whtie and purple turnips and went home. I gave Rotah my presents, but she did not 'preciate 'em. Now fellers, what is wrong with deer corn, musterd greens, turnip greens with turnips and this poem?

Corn are Yellow, Musterd Greens and Turnip Greens are Green,
You are as purty as plump white and purple turnips,
Come waller in the mud hole with me.